Don't Leave Home

I moved into this area just on four year ago. It doesn't matter where "this area" is, except that it was an almost spur-of-the-moment fall-back position on the other side of the city relative to where I'd always felt "at home". In doing so, I (we, in fact - the whole family) tried to make this area home.

I don't mean in the traditional sense of being so close to your neighbours that you walk in through their back door, although we're on friendly enough terms, but other things like looking for activities in the local area, rather than going a long way to a slightly better park, for example. We always think about hiring a local hall for big events.
We encouraged friends who were thinking of moving to come out our way, & the network that we've built has meant that over that time four of us have moved house (again) & not left the area, while more move in.

It's still the case that I don't work anywhere near here - that's unlikely to change, but home is not just the place to come back to after work. It's where I live.

I've become more involved in the local parish. I've never really had a sense of belonging associated with a church that hasn't been as a direct result of my family before. When we moved house two year ago, it was obvious that we wouldn't change to the slightly closer parish church. We thought about it, but didn't act on it. It's not that we've got a lot of friends who attend the same service, even, but we have a sense of belonging where we'll see people in the local shopping mall & will recognise them - have no idea who they are & have never spoken to them - but feel that they are a part of our community.
We do like the priests, no question, but it's the belonging to the place, rather than any loyalty to people, that makes us a part of that community,

Also, there's the band, for me. I feel a commitment to my band, even though it's going through some turbulent times. I don't feel as though I owe the other members to hang around. I just feel as if it's "my band" now. It plays in "my area". As long as I'm still enjoying it, there's no reason to even contemplate another band.

When we moved two year ago, we had a five-year plan in our heads - mostly around what to do when our daughter reaches school age. We already have our fall-back position - the parish school. As time passes, there is less of a "need" to move, to change what we have. We have come to that point of belonging - not through a long association with the area, but simply with being here & being aware of our relationship with the place.

This sense of community is what I believe most people lack in modern society. It's not just about knowing your neighbours, it's about knowing your area, the wider community. You don't have to force your kids to play with the neighbours' kids, but just knowing their name, waving to them (especially the ones along the street as you drive past), realising that you share an address, makes for strong ties.
Once you have formed that relationship, then you've got a lot more to lose when you think about moving. You ask yourself deeper questions about what you gain by crossing the city. You have to think about building new relationships. If people move too often or too far, then they either don't bother going through that relationship building, or don't try hard. That's where we're losing out.

Being a community is not about knowing the individuals around you & being sad to see friends move on, but it's about loving the area that you live in, & sharing that with everyone who comes along after.