Are We There Yet?

So much can be said about us with what we say & how we say it.

When a child says “Are we there yet?” - assuming that they do it in context & are not being ironic - they may have no interest in ‘there’. In fact, they may despise ‘there’, but ‘anywhere’ is better than ‘here’ - which is being stuck inside a mode of transport without sufficient distraction. The real question the child is trying to ask is “Can you guess how bored I am?” & they even give you a clue. They need attention or a distraction.
This says a lot about the child - if you’re the parent, you have a basis from which to form an action - amuse the child; if you’re not the parent, you can roll your eyes (but that rarely gives long-term satisfaction).
A parent will sympathise with the child. A non-parent may sympathise with the parent.

However, adults say it, too.

How many times (for those who work for or with other people) have you heard a boss - or even a partner - ask “Have you finished yet?” on a task for which you have responsibility & control, but where they have some vested interest in the outcome? Are they asking out of genuine concern for your welfare? Sometimes. Are they being critical, implying that if they had been doing the job it would already have been finished? Quite likely. Are they bored? Hmmm … maybe, or else under stress because someone is depending on them to deliver or complete the next task.

There are admittedly people who always believe that they could do any job better than anyone else - the kind who, as Ben Elton puts it, would stand behind Van Gogh just itching to grab the brush & finish off the picture. These people are a little bit arrogant, but mostly impatient. They are not bad people, but they are bad communicators. Van Gogh communicated with colour & imagery. Taking the brush off him is like sticking your hand over someone’s mouth & finishing their sentence for them.

Do we sympathise with such people? Or do we tell them to (politely) get a life or go bother someone else? What does this say about you?

Do you communicate with someone when there’s a shared task, or simply communicate at them?
The language that we use is a small part of how we communicate, as tone, physical actions (body language), speech patterns, attention, etc, all contribute to the message that we share with our interlocutor.

Communication skill acquisition is a learning process that we all have to go through. If we don’t get the skills, then we’ll spend our lives like children trapped in the back seat of the vehicle, not caring where we’re going, only knowing that it’s taking a long time to get there. The adults in the front seat, discussing navigation, leave us out of the conversation until a voice pipes up for attention.

“Are we there yet?”