Communicating with Authority

Way back in the dark ages of this blog, I wrote about style, grammar, technique - the nuts & bolts of “good” writing. There are plenty of references out there - the authorities that are always given to support a particular opinion on any topic in writing or speaking. Right there, I have blown my cover - opinion. I have an opinion, each of these authorities has an opinion. Everyone has an opinion on those authorities, & we all go around touting our particular brand of bigotry.

There is no “right” way to communicate. There is only an effective way, & that is dependent on you & your audience. It is totally subjective. There is no authority to step in & say that the “standard” way must work because everyone has been trained to speak or write in that way & everyone who reads or listens expects it. That simply is not the case. I write in English, as I was taught to do. I listen to people from the stand-point of someone who grew up listening to people speaking English & then was dumped in an environment with people who had not been so brought up (called real life).

Everyone makes their best efforts. If they don’t, then they seem to not want to communicate. People learn their own techniques for being more effective at getting their message across - whether it’s speaking more slowly, always nodding or interjecting with “yes” as they listen, watching the lips move, or running their finger along the line as they read. None of these things are “correct” or “standard”, because standards are made for people who are proficient, not for people who need to & want to continually improve. In fact, sometimes standards are made arbitrarily by people who think things should be a certain way with no regard to how they actually are - etiquette being a classic example.

No-one is so proficient in English that they can’t improve. Therefore, there is no standard, as there is no-one with enough authority to set it. There’s a big statement. We have been in the situation for quite some time now where the Royal Family - the Monarch in particular - has been quite proficient in English (don’t look at me like that, George I couldn’t speak it at all), but that doesn’t make them authorities. There is no “Queen’s English” - especially not in Scotland (where they speak Scots, generally considered near enough to English), & probably not in the US (where they have a thing against Queens).

The average person who was brought up in an English-speaking community gets quite frustrated with those who weren’t - & even more so when faced with someone from a distinct English-speaking community from a different part of the world or from a different ethnic origin (that is, has a different cultural heritage with distinct vocabulary). The standard idea of a red-neck is someone who thinks that the way that they were taught is the one true way, & everyone else is wrong - whether we’re talking about communication skills, religion, or how to crack an egg (with apologies to Dr Swift). This happens with other groups, but “native” English speakers stand out because of the sheer number of different “native”-nesses & “non-native” speakers.
As pointed out earlier, as English becomes a de facto world language, it becomes less like the English that gets taught. Only a red neck believes that his version should be the world standard. Let’s not even start on accents.

But I should try to make a point here … most books on improving communication skills seem to be about teaching techniques that make the communicator more comfortable & a master of the art, giving them a false sense of security in their own new abilities - on the basis that they are learning from an authority. What if people started doing the opposite?

What if everyone assumed that they were a poor communicator, & made every effort to ensure that their message was understood by their audience, making minimal assumptions about shared background or vocabulary, & actually struggled, intentionally, to labour each point. This would be more likely to guarantee the success of the communication, even if it guaranteed a certain level of annoyance (in both parties). But if everyone does it, & it becomes the standard technique, then everyone will expect it, & everyone will accept that that is the best way to communicate.

This breaks down barriers - not just in communication, but also in culture. If you assume that there are no barriers, then they won’t be broken down, they will be ignored, & you can happily shout over the wall at each other & say “What?” every time a gust of wind blows your words away. But if you chip away at the wall, you get holes through which you can gain a much better understanding of what the other person’s background & environment are, & you can better tailor your communication to suit them, & thus become a more effective communicator.

It is only by being humble that we can truly communicate with authority.